flyoverhere

whatever is on my mind….

unwelcome…


Finding out that you are unwelcome in a group activity that you really enjoy and thought others were also enjoying about your participation is a bit of a let down.  Now I am old enough to have learned that not everyone will like you or what you do and there is really nothing you can do about that.  Normally that doesn’t bother me.  However, when I learned that what I have been contributing to a particular group is considered inappropriate or perhaps not up to par with the overall purpose of the group by at least one other participant, I can’t help but wonder if the rest of the group is of the same opinion.

There are instances where participation, welcome or not is important.  I won’t elaborate on that for now.   However, in my current situation which I entered into strictly for the challenge and the learning experience, is neither important nor is it my only option.  I have learned and will apply those lessons in my future endeavors.  So for now at least, I will chalk this one up to the valuable knowledge category and move on.

I have long realized that the pursuit of any kind of success in fields that involve the creative arts, whether writing, painting, sculpting, acting or whatever is a very well guarded, defended and even cut-throat endeavor.  Success in these fields involves a willingness and ability to self-promote in ways that my personality is apparently not suited to.  That isn’t a bad thing, it is just me being me.  There are many extremely talented artists in all these fields who never enjoy fame or fortune because fame and fortune isn’t what defines their success on a personal level.

The joy of creating is enough, if fame or fortune happens that is just the gravy, welcome but not necessary for fulfillment….

Blessings to pursue your dreams, live up to the standards you set and find happiness even in the small things…

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9 Comments

  1. I think that is pretty well said. As a writer you approach subjects I have a hard time with. But I agree, and empathize, sometimes human nature surrrounding us seems all too obvious. (That’s my perspective anyway)

    • I think so too and it is sad because sometimes we miss the privilege of enjoying the contributions of a truly gifted person (not saying that I am) because they are not motivated by the world’s definition of success…

  2. I’m sorry to read about this and feel your pain. Being rejected or thought not good enough is never pleasant even when only by one person and even when it’s by someone whose opinion you might not even respect or think valid. I’m glad you plan to keep creating and moving ahead in whatever field you’re talking about, despite what that person says. Remember that you don’t really know how anyone else in the group feels, only that person.

    While homeschooling, I attended meetings of a support group that wasn’t really providing me support. I kept thinking that I might feel supported the next time, but it didn’t happen. It was humorous in its own way because to most of the world, I was a right-wing conservative Christian, but to this group of women (all Christians, too), I was over by Ted Kennedy. I didn’t fit into their home schooling mold. Bill kept asking why I kept going and I said I didn’t really know.

    The final straw came the night we were going to discuss children’s books, something I knew a fair amount about. But when the leader came up with several reasons why she couldn’t recommend the Little House books, that was the end for me. I felt SO much better when I finally admitted I didn’t fit there (not that they were bad or nasty women) and moved on, creating and meeting my own standards and managing to home school our daughter through high school completely sans support group. What a freeing feeling that was!

    Hopefully the decision you made will free you to move on in the area in which you enjoy creating and you’ll be able to look back and realize what a good day it was when you did so. Many blessings on that endeavor.

    • Thank you for your kind understanding. Yes, the sting is not pleasant but its also not really that important. What I spoke of, I did for fun and a challenge and I had some fun and was challenged so I got a lot out of it. I ask for criticism and shouldn’t be surprised when it is given. Guess I was just in the wrong place at the wrong time…

  3. Been there before. Nothing like finding out that the group you are in is so cliquish they will draw straws to see who will come to tell you you are no longer in their group.

    Stung like an open wound for a while, until I realized that *I* was breathing easier.

    • and breathing easier is a “good” thing 😉

  4. Paula Lowrie

    _____

  5. FOH,

    I am going to go on the assumption these people in whatever group you are in are missing your many talents. It is their loss, FlyOver. I always love reading your articles. You have lots of talents in my book.

    • Thank you pepper! It is always good to hear from a friend and I feel the same about you!

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