whatever is on my mind….

tomorrow, will I love tomorrow?

This year, 2012, has been quite a year.  I won’t ever forget that both my husband and I lost our mothers in 2012.  Illness, death, grief, funerals, dealing with the aftermath to settle personal affairs, clearing out of possessions collected over a lifetime, no time to spend seeing our grandchildren or anything else pleasant, all add up to a lot of exhaustion and frustration.  It takes a toll not just on your mind but on your body as well.  After going for months with little sleep, eating on the fly, endless hours in the car traveling to endless doctor’s appointments and hospital stays, I just can’t seem to get enough sleep.  I have always been somewhat of a hermit, preferring to be at home than anywhere else and that has just gotten worse.

I began this blog as a way to express or maybe confess my shortcomings, my frustrations, depression at times, memories, concerns about the state of my country, love of family, faith in God Almighty and hope that some measure of peace and the assurance that brighter days will return.  I have been blessed to find many others out there in the blogosphere with whom I share many things in common.

In the bigger scheme of things, one of my biggest frustrations comes from a man who I should be able to call my President.  At every turn since his inauguration he as made it clear that people like me are self-centered, greedy, bigoted, racists who cling to guns and religion with animosity for those who are different and that he does not represent me.  His description of me is so off the mark that I cannot call him my President and for the first time in my life I fear my government.  Things that have always been considered ‘good attributes’ during my lifetime have all of a sudden become shameful.  Things like taking responsibility for my own actions and choices, not expecting that my hard work will produce equal results with someone else’s hard work or that the opportunities in my life will compare with anyone else’s.  The moral core of society has been turned upside down where good is evil, right is wrong and being white is downright shameful.

This President is just a symptom of much bigger problems, the result of decades spent intentionally eroding societal norms, mis-educating generations in public schools about our founding, history and traditions, resulting in a population that thinks equal opportunity should mean an equal outcome.  Just yesterday I heard Obama say in a speech that he is going to assure us all that if we work hard and do all the right stuff that we will be rewarded and successful.  People evidently believe that is possible when there is no way this promise, just like so many others can be kept.

People are leaving America, giving up their citizenship, in record numbers due to the uncertainty that they can retain what they have earned.  People are leaving places like New York, Michigan, California, Illinois, and Wisconsin and moving to Texas or Florida.  When you look at where unemployment, poverty, high taxation, and crime are most prevalent you see that is where Democrats have historically controlled local and state governments.  The people who can’t leave just keep electing the same politicians and expecting things to improve, the very definition of insanity.  The people leaving are the people who pay the lion’s share of taxes, yet are being accused of not paying their ‘fair’ share.  There is nothing fair about the tax code when you have 49% of the population paying no federal income tax.  Without a dog in the race they have no reason not to continue standing with their hands out.

Every person who has ever been a family bread-winner, or met a payroll as a small businessman knows that you cannot spend more money than you take in if you expect to stay afloat.  Unfortunately, mis-educated generations have been taught that they deserve the ‘good life’ now and so they max out their credit cards, buy houses and cars they can’t afford and find themselves so deep in debt that they end up losing everything, then cry foul!  The Devil (mortgage lenders, credit cards, bankers) made me do it!  Sue the Devil!

The most successful people in America today are lawyers, government employees and union bosses.  Speaking of government employees, I just heard that the government employs three official government calligraphers, whose salaries range from $86,000 to $97,000 annually.  Who knew that calligraphy was such a lucrative career?  Then there is the small matter of the Labor Department paying out $14 Billion in unemployment benefits to people who were not eligible?  Now I don’t know what the time period was for the erroneous payments but even if it was 20 years, hey, what’s a billion dollars here and there, right?  We won’t even talk about the 5 million new energy jobs (which never materialized) Obama promised back in 2008 in light of the massive green energy company failures that received billions of tax dollars and then declared bankruptcy.

Dealing with the pressure, worry and frustration government has become in my life makes dealing with the everyday business that I have been dealing with in my personal life over the last year almost pleasant.  Not really, but at least when I immerse myself in what I must, concentrate on my faith in God and my love for my family, I don’t spend as much time on worrying about which of my liberties is being taken away today…..

Tomorrow in America may be a very different story.



  1. thedrpete

    The first half of 2012 has been a bummer, FOH, so now play more again with the grandkids and the dogs. Do that and become the energizer bunny again.

    • Thanks dr pete, I don’t know about the energizer bunny but we’ll take it as it comes….

  2. Very good piece as usual. I can identify with that. For a guy that uses the word fair in every other sentence(especially in his speeches) I’ve never seen so much unfairness from the government. Yet he lectures from on high aout fairness. There is nothing fair about him. In a strange way that may be part of what is saving his approval. People are so emersed, just trying to survive, that they haven’t paid much attention to Dr Evil or his deeds. Talking to some family and friends, its surprising how ignorant they are about it. I don’t know if they’ll even vote. I asked myself is this where we are? But everyone complains about the problems and they are struggling. But if a new gadget comes out, they know about it the next morning.

    • You are right bullfight, most folks have their hands full just dealing with the daily struggles with the added burden of an economy that has flat lined. If they are listening to anything at all more than likely it is the evening news on one of the MSM outlets that don’t report much of anything that would cause them to think twice about voting for Obama. You are right though they know about stuff that has nothing to do with improving their lives for more than 15 seconds. The people I know don’t like Obama but for the most part don’t pay attention to any of the really disturbing things he does because they don’t want to think about it. It is discouraging to see so much apathy at such a critical time in our history.

      • I feel for all your loss, it is a challenge in one year. A lot to handle. I don’t know what we’d do without the faith and only hope just to cope?

        One would think energy and gas prices would be a clarion call. Or the scandals, hypocrisy and lies. Nope. I concluded people don’t want to know, and politics turns them off. In a cynical way, they believe nothing will ever change with that — and it won’t if they stay disengaged. So they block it out as if it doesn’t exist or effect them anyway. And that’s a lie.

      • Humanity is flawed and without the faith and hope you speak of they will always take the path of least resistance. These are trying times and we must keep our eye on the only one whose Will matters. God in heaven will have the last say and it is the only ‘say’ that matters! Sometimes this doesn’t keep me from grieving for what we have lost as a nation but then I can’t see yet, what doors will be opened. It is hard for me a mere mortal to imagine something better than the America I grew up in but my mortal imagination is limited to what I can see today. I have to believe that there will be a better tomorrow….

  3. FOH,
    Great article. I feel so much the way you do. I feel defeated in some ways. The Hawk is constantly irritated and we’ve decided to only watch about 1 to 2 hours of news a day. It is mostly repeat anyway after you hear the new stories of the day.

    We too have had a rough 5 years to say the least. More than any one person should have to endure from my perspective. But somehow we have. I can’t really say how.
    Now the Hawk is having a medical problem and we don’t know where this is going or if he’ll continue to be treated.

    We are both stressed to the max. I find myself feeling angry almost all the time. My humorous side is practically gone.

    Our animals and their little tricks are about the only thing that keeps us going and gives us a laugh once in awhile and the love of our dogs serves us in a very good way. I don’t get to see my grand kids very often. They are always busy with some activity or going off on another vacation. There is very little time left for us to get to see them. That makes me quite sad.

    I’m done with this monster in the White House. If he gets re-elected, I won’t be watching any news for 4 years. Why bother? It will only be the same stuff over and over. And by then all of our rights will be taken away.

    So, I can empathize with how you may feel. Will I like tomorrow? No, if I listen to that person in the White House. Or maybe I could like tomorrow if I tune him out for a few days.
    After all tuning him out is not like not knowing what he’s doing. You can almost plan the next move of his.

    • When I am down and feeling defeated it is because I grieve for what America has already lost and is losing and because so many people seem not to mind. However, my faith tells me that this too shall pass and that change is inevitable. I cannot see or know God’s plan but I trust that whatever it is, it will be done and that He will not forsake those who love and obey…..

      • FOH,
        I went out at 6am this morning to work in my garden and do some weed eating. I was out there for about 5 hours working. I felt better while I rested after I was finished and sat and watched the many birds and looked once again at the beauty surrounding us.
        I wanted to take Merlin out for a water play. He likes to bite the water coming out of the hose and getting wet. But, I was worn out by my work. I did not sleep last night at all.
        But, with God’s beauty everywhere i felt a bit uplifted. And my son’s last gift to me is blooming right now, the Star Gazer Lilies. They also have such a nice smell. I talk to Jeff when I’m tending his plant. We named it Jeff after him. I guess we’re weird. Foxy is buried in the yard and we planted a hydrangea over her so I talk to her too when
        I’m tending to that plant. I told the Hawk if he dies before me I will put his ashes with his beloved Foxy.

        I’m tending to to Foxy plant.

      • I was weed eating this morning as well but then my weed eater broke and hubby had to finish up for me with his big heavy one. Then I pulled weeds out of my jack beans. Y’all aren’t crazy at all. I totally understand about Jeff’s lilies. I would do the same thing. We have our beloved Jake, Hubby’s big yellow lab, Shorty my baby boy (rat terrier), Fred the cat, Lucy my sweet but crazy springer spaniel as well as other barn cats buried all in a row. I would be buried there too if it weren’t so difficult to get permission for burial on private land, which is ridiculous! It is very good to find other people who care as much as I do about our country and what we are in danger of losing forever. If we do though, I still believe that ALL things work to the good of those who love the Lord! Our faith and our trust are being mightily tested these days.

      • Flyover,
        I’m glad you all are like us with our pets. So i guess I’m not crazy after all. I just love my dogs so much. Tonight when we got home from Lexington for the Hawk’s doctor app’t I took Merlin, my shepherd out to play in the water from the hose. He just loves it and it makes him so happy. Then I towel dried him while he laid on the porch enjoying the nice towel massage.
        Then I had to take Dakota out for a little walk around the yard. He’s getting old and has not quite the energy of Merlin. Merlin can wear me out

        But it felt good to de-stress after that trip to the liberal bastion of Lexington. The Hawk and I can’t wait until we can get out of there. As it turns out we have to go back on Wed. for another surgery on the Hawk. I’m praying hard these days.

      • No pepp, y’all aren’t crazy. I totally understand the need to de-stress after your trip, especially to a Liberal bastion. I was the same way when I was treated at the cancer center 80 miles away back in 2002 and then again during Mom’s battle with cancer, she was treated at the same center. It is hard to explain but the Liberal attitude permeates those places. I will continue keeping you and Hawk in my prayers. Wish I could bring y’all some fried chicken and a peach cobbler! Pray hard and keep the faith!!!

      • FOH,

        Hawk would love the fried chicken and peach pie. Right now he would love to eat anything solid.

        Thanks for your prayers. I appreciate that so much.,

      • Oh dear, in my attempt to cheer I didn’t take Hawk’s condition into consideration. Sometimes the best of intentions….I do make a pretty good homemade chicken soup. Anyway if I could be there I would try to help in a more tangible way.

        Many prayers for both of you!

  4. Hang in there, FOH. Don’t have any words of wisdom for you. But I do know this, the Lord can be trusted 1000%. Humanoids overall, not so much.

  5. I figure God will work in His mysterious ways. He always does. As we face our darkest hour, the sun comes up and God gets us through whatever we need for each day. I’ve felt closer to God ever since my son died. I rely on Him a lot to get me through one day to the next.

    • I do too pepp. If I didn’t I would be crazier than I am…. 😉

      • FOH,

        I don’t think you have a crazy bone in your body. But this dictator is driving me to craziness.

        You have a very deep well of thinking that shows in everything you write.

        Thanks for your prayers. We see the doctor tomorrow in Lexington. Not looking forward to that drive. The Hawk hurts all over being in the car.

      • Thanks pepp. I will say special prayers for a safe trip tomorrow and for some good news. Take care, drive and return safely home!

      • Well we did have good news that the biopsies came up clean but the Hawk’s esophagus is closing up again after only several weeks. So the doc has us coming down next Wed for another endoscopy to try to open it up again. He told us tonight that if this keeps happening this quickly he’ll have to do a resection on the Hawk.

      • Praise the Lord for some good news! Prayers going up!

    • I have y’all in my prayers as well pepp. God works in mysterious ways.

  6. Hi. Being English I have no real experience of Obama’s administration. I do however know that the story we each write about our own lives and about the intentions of others can have an adverse effect. You said you spend a lot of time worrying about the effect of your government. I help people to re-focus on what they can directly affect in their lives. I doubt that Obama is a monster or that he has any malicious intent.Whenever change affects us it is easy to think it is for the worst. If you are up for an experimeht here is one I use with my clients a lot… Re-write what you have written here within a positive frame, explainig all the benefits and all the potentially positive meanings. Do this, NOT because it is true or because what you have written is not true (it’s all a matter of opinion anyway) but do it just to notice the different effect it has on you personally. Afterwards, think about what you want to do and deicde to do soemthing positive. I am sure you already do many positive things in your ife anyway! I used to get angsty about politics and government (government of both Left and Right wing complexions). Now I find that when I focus on people I love and doing things I love, government seems to become what I truly believe it is… largely irrelevant. It’s people that make the world what it is and when we focus on what who we love and what we love to do we make a positive contribution and the world becomes a better place.

    • I do have a positive attitude in relationship to my own life, family and actions. I must strongly disagree that ‘governments are irrelevant’. That is simply not the case. People do make the world what it is but governments control people and how well individuals can either do more or less good things via taxation and regulation. People are the best bestowers of charity as governments, as government produces nothing on it’s own and cannot give anything without taking away from someone else. Maybe some people like being told who deserves help and who doesn’t, what they can eat, what habits to break or what kind of car they must drive and whether or not they deserve to be treated medically based on how useful they are to society based on the government’s opinion but I don’t.

      I don’t know if you have read the Declaration of Independence or the U.S. Constitution and Bill of Rights but most Americans like what they say and want government to get back within those boundaries that affirm our God given rights. My post was an honest, straight-forward description of how I am personally effected. I don’t spend my days obsessing over it because everyday life has more challenges than I can deal with sometimes. Neither do I ignore it, vigilance is a necessary evil as there are always men who will abuse power either out of ignorance, good intentions or perhaps more nefarious purposes. If it walks like a duck and talks like a duck…..

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