flyoverhere

whatever is on my mind….

his horse had a name….


It’s that time of the week! damsel-fly1.jpg Photo Prompt for 100-word Flash #FridayFictioneers.  The photo prompt  is copyrighted to Roxann Phillips (dba Madison Woods) unless otherwise noted. Permission is granted for non-profit blog use if link-back to Madison Woods is provided.  You will read the inspirations of both published writers and aspiring writers generated from this photo.  Come join the fun!  Be sure to critique my effort!

She stirred from her nap, “Where are we?”

“Somewhere south of Tucson”.  Sweat trickled from that curl on his forehead.

“Why’re we stopping”.

“Sally’s’ hot”.  Steam began to ooze out from under the hood of his old Mustang along with the pungency of anti-freeze.

She noticed dirt rising in the distance, she paced along the road’s shoulder, for a moment a slight breeze cooled her perspiring body.

The new SUV stopped, she stared into sky blue eyes behind the wheel. “You look like a  damsel in distress”.  She got in.

He looked out from behind Sally’s raised hood, “Where’re you going?”.

“Back to Tucson!”

As dust settled across his sweaty brow, a damsel fly lit atop Sally’s radio antenna.


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44 Comments

  1. Interesting take on the prompt – two damsels. (There’s a typo in “stared”: you’ve written “starred”). I’m on the new link thingy.

    • Thanks Lady Marilyn, must have been a little starry eyed conjuring up the blue-eyed SUV driver! Thanks for the comments!

  2. I love that they are driving Mustang Sally! Also intrigued by her spontaneous (and dangerous) decision to go back to Tucson with the handsome stranger, leaving her prior companion in their dust.

    • Thanks Jan! I had a Mustang once, her name was Sally. I was trying to incorporate another song that always comes to mind when I find myself in hot, dry weather. It has a line that goes, “…..I rode through the desert on a horse with no name….”. Thanks for your comments!

  3. She’s a fickle one! Still, blue eyes and a brand new SUV…

    I’m here: http://mysocalleddutchlife.wordpress.com/2012/06/20/friday-fictioneers-22nd-june/

    (ps sorry for your loss. Kind and sympathetic thoughts sent your way)

    • Yes, I think she is a bit of a spoiled brat, LOL!
      Thank you for your words of sympathy.

  4. FOH, you have a gift for storytelling!! Loved it!!

    • Thanks Y! Never even considered a fiction genre before but I am enjoying it a lot! Thank you so much for reading!!!

  5. That’s a nice play on words.

    Mine: http://logo-ligi.com/2012/06/21/a-silent-moment/

  6. I liked the use of the damsel in distress from the prompt/

  7. Sounds like a start to either a romantic comedy, or a horror story…liked how you ended it…

    http://writersclubkl.wordpress.com/2012/06/22/friday-fictioneers-dragonfly-damselfly-whatever/

  8. Like the use of two damsels, well written story. Mine is here http://boomiebol.wordpress.com/2012/06/21/damsel-fly-friday-fictioneers-622/

    • Thank you! On my way to yours now…

  9. Lora Mitchell

    LoL…looks she had enough of that old Mustang. Can’t blame her, I guess, but hope her decision does not turn ugly. On the list but here’s mine: http://www.triplemoonstar.blogspot.com

    • I think Mr. Blue Eyes may fine out she is very high maintenance, LOL! Thanks for the visit!

  10. Damsel take two – nicely done and personally I think he’s better off without her if she flits off at the first sign of trouble 🙂

    Here’s mine too: http://womanontheedgeofreality.com/2012/06/22/friday-fictioneers-gramps-and-me/

    • I think so too! Thank you for coming by!

      • You’re welcome 🙂

  11. Blue eyes, (probably handsome) an SUV (probably powerful and sleek) who wouldn’t change the mind? lol! I like this and the play on words is super. Thanks for coming over. I am here and linked as well for others: http://readinpleasure.wordpress.com/2012/06/21/fridayfictioneers-the-omen/

  12. rochellewisoff

    Beware of blue eyed strangers! She’s not only self centered, she’s not too bright. Good story.
    On the list, but for other readers who might happen by I’m at http://www.rochelle-wisoff.blogspot.com/2012/06/homework.html

    • You describe exactly how I tried to portray her. Thanks for the comments!

  13. Brandon Scott

    She doesn’t deserve him… or Sally for that matter. He’s better off without her!

    • Especially if Sally was a 1964 1/2 red convertible Mustang! Wish I had one now….

  14. That must have been some ‘ride back to Tuscon’ with dreamy ole blue eyes. And poor ‘Sally’. Hope there was a damsel that came along to help her and her owner out. I liked the story. Unfortunately, I did not manage to get my name on the linkz list (due to an error or something) so will leave my link here to my blog and FF story for this week. My damsel fly is not so innocent. Here’s mine for any readers needing it: http://jemj47.wordpress.com

    • In my mind the damsel fly was a sign that there is water nearby. Hopefully Sally’s owner is as smart as I gave him credit for….. 🙂

  15. Why did she leave her travel partner?! and Sally?! ugh, I don’t like this character anymore. 🙂
    Nice story, I’d probably scratch the links, they’re a bit distracting.

    • HaHa, good I didn’t want her to get any sympathy! I guess the links are the tags I applied. If I don’t include them won’t it be less likely for others to stumble onto my blog? I am new to all the techy stuff, 🙂

      • Oh, not does links… The tags are different. Those help. But the links, I’m not sure. Don’t think so though..

      • I took them off and will be more mindful in the future. This is why I love the critique.

  16. Well, that stretches the prompt about as far as it will go! Very ingenious. I’m left wondering whether she should really have trusted the stranger with the SUV – will she actually get to Tucson?? She impresses me as flitting around with as little thought as the damselfly. (After all, she had to know the narrator’s Mustang was in bad shape before they left.)

    Of course, the narrator is in no mood to tell the story in a way that makes her look good! Maybe we shouldn’t completely trust his version.

    Or, to step into “critic” mode instead of “reader” mode – you’ve set up an open-ended situation with some suspense, and created two characters with personalities complex enough to let us look at them from different angles. (Maybe three, but we know very little about the SUV driver, except that he’s the kind of jerk who comes across a stranded couple and uses the situation to pick up the woman without offering any help to the man. No wonder I’m suspicious of him. And yes, definitely three complex characters.) Nice job!

    My story – http://newpillowbook.wordpress.com/2012/06/22/friday-fictioneers-advice/.

    • (On the other hand – why all those links? I think most adults know what a radio antenna or an SUV or antifreeze are. And so on.)

      • Since I am so new to all this I suppose I thought if WP suggested it, I should use it. I sure don’t want to distract readers and since I have had several comments about the links, I have removed them and it does look and read better. Thanks again!

    • Thanks for the visit and all the input! I really appreciate it!

  17. VSichalwe

    I love this story, I am always amazed and how far peoples imagination can go and I am so glad for people like you that really do out-side the box, would have never thought of that. Sally is really silly and I don’t really like her she is very proud lol. I would love to read more about the story.

    • Thanks for reading and commenting! Maybe someday I will come up with the rest of the story! 😉

  18. I wasn’t sure what happened to guy #1. Guess he was out of her thoughtsvas soon as the suv guy showed up. She, like a damsel fly, loves to flit around….

    Mine is here: http://erinleary.wordpress.com/2012/06/22/flash-friday-fiction-6/#entry

    • yep she is a flitter! Thanks for the visit!

  19. here’s where you can save words:

    the pungent smell of anti-freeze.

    the word pungent already carries the connotation of a smell. consider “the pungence of anti-freeze.”

    also, where the dirt rises up. you can’t rise down or sideways. so just say the dirt rose. cut “up.” save a word.

    the dreamy blue eyes – c’mon there. you’re much too creative to fall back to what a high school girl would write about her boyfriend.

    instead of “she stared at the dreamy blue eyes behind the wheel” 10 words.

    “the blue eyes behind the wheel ignited her pulse” 9 words.

    • Thanks Rich! I see the redundancy now. I also did an edit for ‘old blue eyes’. I think when I was writing that I was channeling her mindset….at least now I know that I can still think a high school girl, LOL! My husband of 46 years still has those dreamy blue eyes! Glad you came by!!!

  20. Mustang Sally, Guess you better slow, your mustang down, or it’ll overheat somewhere just outside of Tuscon.

    http://thebradleychronicles.wordpress.com/2012/06/21/flash-fiction-friday-shearing-placid/

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