the good news…
This just in. The printing press over at the Federal Reserve overheated, melted down and can’t be repaired……the bad news, Turbo Tax Tim called Chairman Chu and borrowed the money to replace it. More good news, the new printing press is the latest thing, high-tech and leaves no carbon footprint. It’s powered by endangered lizards from Texas running a tread mill. The bad news, PETA is suing the Fed for endangered lizard abuse, forcing the Fed to provide special break room amenities suitable for endangered lizards complete with their favorite food, endangered and rare desert spiders. So now the endangered spiders lobby is suing the endangered lizards lobby to make the lizards eat tofu. The good news, an 11th circuit judges panel has put a cease and desist order on the use of endangered lizards to power the printing press pending a study to see if the lizards legs are actually too short. The bad news, Turbo Tax Tim is using the backup powered fossil fuel generator to crank out enough dollars to make hiring any of the green alternative energy sources more than triple the cost….The good news, there isn’t any.
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God Help Us ALL!